is your mom at the bar?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
