I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
