My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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