ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
