well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
