Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
