I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
