theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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