i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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