Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
