the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
