ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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