Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
