so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
