We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Randomize
