She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
