he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
