Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
