Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
