if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
