Im at strip club and am horny
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
