I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
