What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
