there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
