I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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