She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
