Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
