Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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