He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
