I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
