margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
