I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
