And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
