That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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