I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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