i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
