glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
