so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
