some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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