I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the day after is always just damage control
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
