my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
