I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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