never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need a beard to bite.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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