Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
