oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
