I faked an abortion last night.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
