You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
