First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
