dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
