the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
