You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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