It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
