The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
